I don’t really have a set structure in place for this newsletter—it mostly looks like writing in chronological order. After I press publish on a piece, I watch the next episode in question and hone in on whatever Carrie asks.
Four minutes into episode eight, she asks if threesomes were the new sexual frontier and my eyes roll to the back of my head.
I don’t want to write about threesomes. I’d rather write about how there are ten people living in space right now, or share the gossip I know about a much loved Hollywood A-lister. But a few months ago, I thought Carrie’s Column would be a really good idea and so here we are, seeing it through.
I haven’t known which direction to take this article in either. Maybe I could share statistics? Like how in 2015, Threesomes was the second most searched word for women in the US watching porn. But last year, the most searched word was Hentai—which is a clear sign of the times, is it not? Or how about a statistic on how we’re having far less sex than generations before—but not only that! We’re lonelier and poorer too. A threesome? In this economy?
Maybe I could share how threesomes have been portrayed in film, literature and art throughout the years? With one of the earliest interpretations appearing in the Kama Sutra, dating as far back as 400 BC.
Maybe I could write a full analysis on this episode of Sex and the City and tell you how creepy the man is that Charlotte’s dating—the one who’s trying to get her to have a threesome with him. He has a wide smile and reminds me of a Marvel villain. I could tell you that he also reminds me of a guy I was dating a few years back, who was fixated on the idea of bringing someone else into the mix too. I’ll book a hotel room and everything, he said. Of which I politely declined. I could also tell you that in this episode, Carrie finds out that Big’s been married before. In typical narcissistic Big fashion, he casually drops it into conversation. And Carrie, in typical unhinged Carrie fashion, obsesses over the ex-wife before tracking her down and arranging lunch. Samantha is having an affair with a married man and Miranda instigates a drink with a couple wanting a threesome, but then does a runner. Maybe I could write about how everyone in this episode is off their rocker.
Hey! Maybe I could tell you that I’ve already written an article on non-monogamy just last week and encourage you to go read that instead.
“And when I started looking,” Carrie says in this episode, “they were everywhere! After all, our lives are built on threesomes. Fat, low-fat, non-fat. First, business, economy. Moe, Larry, Curly.”
Maybe I could follow Carrie’s train of thought? I could write an entire article on all the things that come in threes! The fat content in yoghurts. The ways of flying. The Stooges?! Or maybe—and let’s normalise this—I could tell you that I don’t really have anything to say on the subject. And we’ll just leave it at that.
I would have used it to talk about Couple to Throuple, the new dating show about finding your perfect threesome lololol
so funny <3